21 Day - Day 6

10:00AM
Getting D to school was a challenge so I was frustrated again with him, mimicking him. My point was that his behavior was annoying. Not appropriate adult behavior, and JT let me know it!He came up to me and said that D did not sound like that and I gave him a hug for defending his brother. I said that they were right and we all got along better.

Parent teacher conference this morning everything I expected.

2:30 PM
We took a walk today after school. I parked low. JT did well keeping up. The boys have been very loving today. I think I did a better job driving compassionately. I do not recall a negative thought.

5:00PM
Today, kids and I played a game. We hid objects in a bag and the other person had to guess by feeling it. We had a great time with that!

10:00PM
Taught a class to Girl Scouts this evening. Ages 10-13...maybe? I had some chatty girls, some flexible girls, I some with esteem issues. Class may have been too challenging for a couple, but most enjoyed the challenge or getting their bodies to do things they had not done before. One girl really tried everything and seemed to pick up the "contortions" well. Another had a hard time with backbend and other things...but beamed widely when she got into handstand. I got them all to OM with me!

21 Day - Day 5

8:30AM
I have been thinking about my brother's girlfriend and her situation. I wish I had a better way to communicate with her. She complains often, and acts upset all of the time, at everything. Being around her, she makes me feel sorry for her, but then later I feel as though she needs to do more with herself to change her "unhappiness". She rarely acknowledges with someone has done something nice for her. This is an instance where I think about the satya 'rule of thumb' I posted. Before speaking, check:
Is it true?
Is it necessary?
Is it kind?

What I feel is truth to me. Is it necessary to talk to her? Maybe. But maybe it is better left unsaid for the sake of harmony. Is it kind...she may not perceive it as such, although understaning the truth, and study oneself will help put them in a better position later in life. If they are willing and open to listening. I do not believe she is ready. Nor ever will be.

11:30AM
Practiced nauli. Read an email about Moon Salutations. I tried them. Would love to try these tomorrow with the Girl Scouts, but I need to stick with things I already know well. I practiced it but I'm too cold now.

I have decided to take meditation off of my goal list. It's too hard to get through most of them and I'm not ready to meditate wiht a greedy, needy family.

Quote I saw today: "Be the change you want to see in the world" Mahatma Gandhi.

8:00PM
I'm lucky if I can even get three entries in each day. I TOTALLY gossiped today, and realized that I did it on the second day of this assignment! It is not even nice gossip. It's the I-really-don't-know-if-it's-true-but-I-heard-from-a-friend kind. Horrible! Worthless. And I remembered that my husband and I were making fun of someone indirectly, just for laughs. It was a personal joke, but the kind that I don't need sitting out there and accidentally coming back up to hurt someone.

so far in this assignment I have found that I am 1) harboring and feeding negative feelings toward someone and 2) I need to practice Compassionate Driving. Maybe I will make it a new goal. As for that certain someone, I need to continue to think nicely about them and refrain fron further horrid speech.

practiced kapalabhati

11:30PM
Neti! trying to get 4 entries in, too. Tomorrow things may be easier. We will see. Phoebe came to see me.

OK, here is a theory...Animals are actually our next incarnation! We re all trying to move toward a more simple existence. Just trying to find bliss through our big, reasoning, thinking brains. I think it's more confusion. What we should strive for is an animal existence. To find bliss, simple life. We just keep descending to a simple organism. Or a simple spark of energy! When atoms fire, do they feel bliss?

21 Day - Day 4

9:45AM
Another loooong night. Spent at my brother's house. Hot room, cold air blowing, but kids awake every few hours. How I am getting home tonight in a 3 hour car drive--I do not know.

I washed dishes this morning for my brother's girlfriend while my younger son and nephew played together. I cherish mornings. I like to get up early and be with the kids, even at home. But when I travel or have family around, early morning is a quiet time for reflection and enjoyment of my family. More Ishvara Pranidana. And I got my nauli in.

I did steal someones wireless internet to get on the internet. Hey, if they don't lock it up, it's a gift!

5:45PM
HOME! Driving makes me crazy! I had massive negative thoughts about a guy that cut me off and I left my high-beams on him for 2 miles. I had considered that long distance driving was a bit meditative, but it is also very frustrating! I have no idea how to make up for my angry thoughts when I drive.

9:30PM
I had a brief conversation with my mother about my visit to my brother's house. We talked about their situation and I had a bit of frustration over somethings I am emotionally attached to, but have no ability to change. I have hope for them as a couple, but they need to communicate more, and share the burden of everything they go through. Neti and pranayama.

21 Day - Day 3

9:30AM
My son is still not sleeping well. Up every 2 hours last night. So, I was grumpy. My husband asked at one point inthe night if I was going to bring our son in our room to sleep with us. I snapped, "Fuck, no!" I really did not need to choose those exact words. I let my emotions take over, and my lack of sleep. and frustration.

Nauli this morning. Pranayama (three-lobed viloma).

7:00PM
Spent the day traveling to my brother's house. I ate way too much at dinner to compensate for the lack of food while driving. I did practice chanting int he car. Is difficult to keep my goals going with two kids who do not help. I did neti before we left house.

Tonight, I am referee. Boys are fighting over cousin's toys. they are tired, too. And a little sick. I spent time with all of them, though. And my nephew who seems to really enjoy me. That was a point of bliss today. My ishvara pranidana.

21 Day - Day 2

7:30AM
I did not get up on time today. Had to late because kids are sick, crying. I was impatient with my older son's crying. Partially because I messed up my own schedule getting up late.I need to reassure him when he gets up that it is OK to be cranky sometimes. I did do nauli.

1:00PM
Checking in. Not sure if I'll make all of my goals today. Missed pranayama this AM.

6:00PM
Still no time, behind all day. Had playdate this afternoon so got my kid time in. I tried to do pranayama again, did not happen.

10:30PM
Son woke up crying, can't breathe through nose. He would not stop crying I got fed up and said to him "please just shut up". I can't let my frustration that I can not help him get the better of me. He needs compassion, but I don't know what to do to get him to stop crying.

11:30PM
Neti done. Chanted Maha Gaiyatri Mantra. Nadi Shodana pranayama done.

21 Day - Day 1

9:30AM
Practiced Nauli and nadi shodana pranayama first thing this morning.
Old HS friend called this morning. Her son (my Godson) was accepted to SMC and UVM with great FA packages. She told me that I was a source of inspiration to her to guide her son through school to college. I felt very good about this, a little embarrassed, modest about my own achievements. But, happy that I provided an indirect "positive role model" all the same.
I did not see a police officer in a crosswalk today. I was distracted by pointing out the cars to my son. She was not in the cross walk, but on the side, waiting to cross. I need to be more aware.

11:30PM
I coveted my son's playgroup snack because I was "too busy" to pack one for myself. To steer my mind away from it, I practiced 3-lobed viloma pranayama.
I was irritated at a man for walking so slow and in my way at Costco. I was running late, but I knew it was not his fault. I just let my anger fill my thoughts.
I yelled out loud in the car, at a car in front of me for not paying attention to the signal. I immediately felt terrible because my youngest son was int eh car, and I try not to expel in from of them.
A few minutes later I slowed to let a man cross the street at the roundabout in Winooski.

4:20PM
Just spent over one hour playing with the kids. No phone, no TV, no computer.

7:25PM
On my way to yoga practice tonight I dwelled on a thought. A car had sped through our neighborhood earlier. I was angry at them, not even sure who it was. I had "daydreams" of what I would do if they had hit one of our kids. I should be blessed that my kids were not outside, but I still felt like the person needed to be scolded for excessive speeds.
Just finished asana. Very deep, I was very heavy in savasana. Also practiced meditation and chanting in class.

10:20PM
I am being accused of harboring a grudge. Someone has verbally "abused" me. And someone else is telling me to just look past it. The actual words said do not bother me. It is the manner in which they are said, and the fact that the abuser has no remorse. I am reminded of the Buddhist saying, "Treat those who are evil with disregard." I do not think this person is evil, but her actions certainly are not staying with the divine. I do not consider myself harboring a grudge, but merely treating her with disregard. Time to go do neti.

Goals for 21 Day experiment

I was very interested in participating in the 21 Day to make or break a habit experiment. I created my goals today.

Every day I will practice each of these at least once: pranayama, nauli, neti, chant, meditate and 10 min or more of asana. I will also devote one uninterrupted hour of direct time with my kids.

I will journal my progress, and also journal 5 times a day on how I am doing with regards to following the yamas and niyamas.

Saturday session - Yamas

Kathy threw us a pleasant curve-ball today and offered to start today's session at 8:30AM for those who wanted to practice the Primary and Intermediate series all together. I took her up on that! I loved it. I thought we would run over time, but we did finish at about 10AM as everyone began to arrive. Those that were just arriving practiced on their own for an hour. The rest of us rested, ate, or played around with some poses.

After, Kathy had some of the students discuss work they have been doing with regards to Yamas.

"Six times a day" book
One student discussed a journal that she has been keeping. It is something she learned from a Buddhist source (can not remember whom or what). It is a way that Buddhist who take vows keep track of their vows and how they do each day. She has many friends who keep the same kind of book, each with their own say of doing it or different goals.

The keeper of the journal determines a goal or goals. In her instance, she is journal how she keeps to the yamas and niyamas. She does this six times each day. Some people set their watches to make sure they are checking in. This student just does every two waking hours. Any times she finds that she did not adhere to her goal, she makes up for it in small ways. Such as taking a "time" out.

21 Days
Another student is starting a research project based on the theory that it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. She and some friends (and invited yoga students) will choose a habit to start/break on April 1st and check in/journal for 21 days. I'm interested, but need to think about what habit I would like to focus on.

Yama-Niyama/Kosha Grid
I discussed my research on the yamas and applying them to the individual koshas. I discussed my thoughts on each of the yamas: Ahimsa, Satya, Asteya, Bramacharya, Aparigraha. And the chart I did.

Kathy continued class, but I left early to be with the kids.

Book: Yinsights

I ordered Yinsights by Bernie Clark after talking with someone at the March weekend workshop last week. It came in and I'm amazed at the information within. It's a book for intermediate to advanced yoga practitioners. It goes into the deeper benefits of yoga, as viewed by Eastern and Western philosophy. Two things are immediately interesting to me: 1) the concept of yin vs yang and how it applies to yoga poses and philosophy, and 2) how the book defines the koshas in depth and links to your yoga practice. The book also gives ideas for applying Yin Yoga in your asana practice.

March Workshop - Day three

Straps
After a brief practice to warm up, we played around with straps. People came up with different ways that a strap can be useful and we tried them ourselves. Some of the favorites were to
- put it on like a backpack, supports back, aligns shoulders
- put it around the upper arms to give stability in chaturanga
- put on upper arms for stability in forearm and shoulder stands.

What Would You Teach?
We split into groups to discuss one thing we would teach someone. My group chose
- saying OM out loud
- breathing (practice viloma pranayama)
- learning suryanamaskar

Chanting
We learned and practiced the Maha Gayatri Mantra:
Om Bhuh
Om Bhuvaha
Om Savaha
Om Mahaha
Om Janaha
Om Tapaha
Om Satyam
Om Tat Savitur Varenyam
Bhargo Devasya Dhimahi
Dhiyo Yonaha Prachodayat
Om Apajoti
Raso Amritam
Brhama Bhuhr Bhuvaswarom

and Asatoma:

Asatoma sadgamaya
Tamasoma jotirgamaya
Mrytyora amritangamaya

We chanted asatoma as a walking chant in a circle and in a figure-8. We discussed what the walking do for us. Some felt is slowed the chant down, others felt they could focus more on the chant while walking.

Yin Yoga
I spoke to another Kathy about doing gentle yoga since I will be teaching in a few weeks to a Seniors class. She recommended a Web site on Yin Yoga and an article by Sarah Powers on Yoga Journal. Also, she recommended I look into two books, "Yinsights" and "Insight Yoga"

March Workshop - Day two

I arrived a few minutes late, but ready to take on yoga! I was feeling ill a bit, still, but well enough to practice. We started off with an invigorating and instructional "flow" yoga class led by Kathy. She paused to show us a few things.

Transition back from forward bend to plank

1. while bent, walking feet back and lower body to plank
2. while bend, hop feet together back while lowering body to plank
3. raise feet up together and slide feet about 4-6 inches along mat to plank position (as though your feet were on a skateboard back to position)
4. jump feet together high, arcing out and down to plank (rough landing on the toes!)

Transition upward-facing dog to downward-facing dog

1. lower to plank, push and curve up into upward dog, press feet to lift butt high up while head and chest come down, press arms into mat to align into downward dog
2. lower to plank, push and curve up into upward dog, curve back along same path and press arms straight to align downward dog.
3. lower to plank, push and curve up into upward dog, curve back to plank position, push up and back with arms as butt rises back to downward dog.

We helped each other get into handstand using several methods.

• Jump like frog with knees bent until up above our heads
• One leg low, one high, jump up into handstand. Keeping legs split with lower leg still low to ground
• One leg low, one high. Jump into handstand and bring both legs up

Kapalabhati
We did several kapalabhati pranayama sessions. Several people discussed how they liked to do the pranayama. Some suggestions we tried were:
- rigid straight arms against your legs, strong back with a loose spine
- strong bandhas, loose arms and relaxed upper body
- hard, loud exhale vs. soft, quiet exhale

Ongoing Homework
Kathy reiterated the things she wants us to think about and do on our own.

• List 100 things you do that is yoga
• Start teaching
• Memorize and understand yamas, niyamas, and 8 limbs
• Learn three chants
• Build your yoga library with at least one book of: asana, biography, ancient text, something interesting
• Regularly practice asana, pranayama and meditation
• Notice when your practice moves from Emulation (learn from others) to Absorbtion (learning from within)
  

Karma
Kathy gave explanation of different levels of karma that we do. Vikarma is deliberate, negative karma. When you wish harm upon someone, or act in a manner that harms them. Sukarma is the where you intentionally do positive karma. This is action with expectation. Akarma is "no karma" or actions that create positive karma without intentionally doing so. This is where we are striving to be in yoga. A good way to get there is practice action without expectations. I wrote a small piece on karma a few months ago when I was reading The Dalai Lama's An Open Heart.

We discussed karma for a few minutes and what constitues good vs bad karma with regards to intentions. Your karma has to do with you. So if you intended something to be good, it should be good karma. Thoughts are karmic as well.

Buddhist quote:
Greet those who are happy with friendliness
Greet those who are unhappy with compassion
Greet those who are virtuous with delight
Greet those who are evil with disregard

March Workshop - Day one

I missed the first day of this weekend's workshop. It is disheartening. I have been looking forward to this weekend for months. The boys are going to be gone all weekend and I have time to myself to do things I want to do without interruption. Now, I am sick in bed, feeling a little depressed. At least the little guys are with daddy and I can rest.

Second series again

Tonight I did the second series again. I think I will stick with this a while longer, but I do miss a few poses in primary series. :)

Yoga for Girl Scouts

I told a friend who is troop leader to two different Girl Scout troops a few months ago that I needed some teaching opportunities. Since then, I have taught a regular power yoga class at a health club and now will be teaching a Seniors yoga class at Yoga Vermont at the end of the month.

But teaching girls/teens is still interesting for me. I want to get experience with a variety of demographics. So, we are scheduled for April 6 in Highgate.

I looked online and it looks like Christy Brock is a known experts to teaching teens. Note to self: look into this.

Kosha grid

In the Yama/Niyama class last April, we drew grids comparing all of the yamas and niyamas to 1) the koshas and 2) the chakras. I have been working on filling out the koshas grid over time. I have finally finished it.