9:15AM
Preparing for Seniors class. Watching Kripalu DVD gave me stimulation and ideas. Had an interesting dream this morning...I dreamed that I was doing the handstand-backbend and back over several times. Effortlessly. I was hovering in Space just above the Earth, no friction, just fluid motion over-back over-over again. As I came back over, I stood in handstand a moment, then I started to fall toward Earth. Sparks burst from my head, like a comet. Flames and light flowing down my body as I shot like a falling star to Earth. My eyes were closed but I had a huge smile on my face. I felt no heat, no resistance, no fear of falling. Then logic took over and I thought, 'wait a minute, if I'm falling to Earth, I would definitely feel heat.' Then I woke up.
11:45AM
Ended Seniors class. Went well. Feedback was that the workout was good. I almost ran out of time! New student joined, from Monday class. She was upset about yesterday's class being cancelled and not being told. I was empathetic and she joined my class. I hope she returns.
8:00PM
My son has been uber-challenging today. I witnessed him pnuch a peer. However it was a part of the game or not, I requested he stop. He continued. I called him over to discuss and he raised his fist at me. I sent him inside. I do not know what to do sometimes. I want to let him outside unsupervised, but if he ignores my please then it's a disciplinary action required and supervised visits with friends.
He acted out again at Soccer tonight. He even said "yay, I get to go home." I know he's not thrilled with soccer, but I need him to continue if he wants to do more things. I kept my cool, but I told him that anywhere we go, no matter if it be shopping, he'll be done for the day.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Listen to your practice
The following is an excerpt of someone else's revelation in the 21 day experiment. I am posting it because it is enlightening, inspirational and I do not want to forget it...
"For my 21 days, I chose to honor my body and really pay attention to how I was feeling and what it was telling me. If I have to pee, I go; If I'm tired, I sleep; and so on. Through this quiet listening, I've also found that sometimes your heart tells you things too - just like your bladder tells you to pee, and your eyes tell you you're tired.
"My heart has always quietly told me that my career...was not the essence of my happiness - and never will be. I used to ignore those questions that popped up when I was working late into the night - is this really worth it? wouldn't I love to go home to see my family? why am I doing this?
"Since I started listening, I realized it wasn't a quiet whisper, my heart was shouting at me - I just ignored it for so long. The same way that my bladder now screams when I have to pee - it's no longer ignorable like it used to be.
"Yoga, in it's multitude of forms, is the essence of my happiness - and always will be. Listen to your practice."
"For my 21 days, I chose to honor my body and really pay attention to how I was feeling and what it was telling me. If I have to pee, I go; If I'm tired, I sleep; and so on. Through this quiet listening, I've also found that sometimes your heart tells you things too - just like your bladder tells you to pee, and your eyes tell you you're tired.
"My heart has always quietly told me that my career...was not the essence of my happiness - and never will be. I used to ignore those questions that popped up when I was working late into the night - is this really worth it? wouldn't I love to go home to see my family? why am I doing this?
"Since I started listening, I realized it wasn't a quiet whisper, my heart was shouting at me - I just ignored it for so long. The same way that my bladder now screams when I have to pee - it's no longer ignorable like it used to be.
"Yoga, in it's multitude of forms, is the essence of my happiness - and always will be. Listen to your practice."
Monday, April 13, 2009
21 Day - Day 13
8:00AM
Woke up a little behind but I found a chance to do nauli and neti today. Got my son motivated to get out of bed and on to school
1:00PM
It is hard to practice compassionate driving when people drive so terribly. Not taking others' lives into account whent hey get behind the wheel of a car.
On my way to pick up Domenick, a young man was driving his sports car, passing another car, causing several of us to veer off the road to avoid collision. I am sure these two cars were racing. I honked my horn and flipped him off--energy wasted as I shoul have been taking numbers and info to deliver to police.
8:00PM
Took kids out to Marie's so I could practice tonight. I felt great. Did a handstand with support in shoulders, legs independently straight up. I also altered my practice a bit. Did primary series and threw in some of my favorite secondary series poses as well.
Woke up a little behind but I found a chance to do nauli and neti today. Got my son motivated to get out of bed and on to school
1:00PM
It is hard to practice compassionate driving when people drive so terribly. Not taking others' lives into account whent hey get behind the wheel of a car.
On my way to pick up Domenick, a young man was driving his sports car, passing another car, causing several of us to veer off the road to avoid collision. I am sure these two cars were racing. I honked my horn and flipped him off--energy wasted as I shoul have been taking numbers and info to deliver to police.
8:00PM
Took kids out to Marie's so I could practice tonight. I felt great. Did a handstand with support in shoulders, legs independently straight up. I also altered my practice a bit. Did primary series and threw in some of my favorite secondary series poses as well.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
21 Day - Day 11
10:30PM
Busy today. Went skiing with kids, both did fair. I think they are sick of skiing. Then colored Eggs for Easter. Went to dinner...kids were surprisingly GOOD at dinner.Julien super-excited about Easter bunny. Domenick was more so earlier in week. Less now. He'll be happy to see little legos. And chocolate.
I have done well. A little frustrated when Julien and I came back to condo. I had to carry all gear, and keep him motivated to get to condo. Then, we had a fabulous time riding up the tram after. Julien happy, excited the whole way. He wanted to get off, but I convinced him to come back down. He took a nap when we got back which made dinner great. He went right to be, with thoughts of Easter bunny in his head. He even pulled up the shade to look outside for the Easter Bunny. Domenick was more trying. He had quite an attitude so I gave him a time out on the couch. He got better with direct play-contact. I felt better about his attitude.
Busy today. Went skiing with kids, both did fair. I think they are sick of skiing. Then colored Eggs for Easter. Went to dinner...kids were surprisingly GOOD at dinner.Julien super-excited about Easter bunny. Domenick was more so earlier in week. Less now. He'll be happy to see little legos. And chocolate.
I have done well. A little frustrated when Julien and I came back to condo. I had to carry all gear, and keep him motivated to get to condo. Then, we had a fabulous time riding up the tram after. Julien happy, excited the whole way. He wanted to get off, but I convinced him to come back down. He took a nap when we got back which made dinner great. He went right to be, with thoughts of Easter bunny in his head. He even pulled up the shade to look outside for the Easter Bunny. Domenick was more trying. He had quite an attitude so I gave him a time out on the couch. He got better with direct play-contact. I felt better about his attitude.
Friday, April 10, 2009
21 Day - Day 10
7:15 AM
Practiced nauli, hurt a little-maybe full bowels. My body feels better from doing short asana series yesterday, working out kinks. Busy day today, going to celebrate Easter at Jay. Preschool and playgroup before all of that.
2:15PM
Major infliction on my quest for compassionate driving. I did OK this morning, but on our way to an appointment, I was SO frustrated with other drivers. I did not swear, but I expressed anger. I was also short with the kids, but I think I am doing better at controlling my snippy outbursts toward them. I let them bring their bikes to this appointment and they were very happy for doing so.
Practiced nauli, hurt a little-maybe full bowels. My body feels better from doing short asana series yesterday, working out kinks. Busy day today, going to celebrate Easter at Jay. Preschool and playgroup before all of that.
2:15PM
Major infliction on my quest for compassionate driving. I did OK this morning, but on our way to an appointment, I was SO frustrated with other drivers. I did not swear, but I expressed anger. I was also short with the kids, but I think I am doing better at controlling my snippy outbursts toward them. I let them bring their bikes to this appointment and they were very happy for doing so.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
21 Day - Day 9
It's a Full moon today at 11AM.
Noon
Made granola all morning--fun; ishvara pranidhana Kids played GREAT together the whole time. I'm still trying to get through the dishes and laundry. We have no plans to go anywhere. Just being a Mom today. Practicing Compassionate Driving should be easy!
4:30PM
Playdate again today here. Enjoyed talking, this time NOT gossiping! was great. We talked more about the community, the schools (budgets, needs). Ate apples, nuts, granola, drank tea. Kids played well. I do feel good about getting the dishes done and cleaning up the kitchen area before they arrived.
Drove to the store. A little too fast on the way there. But made a conscious effort to practice compassionate deriving on way home. JT tired, in front of TV now. D outside playing hard.
9:15PM
Did asana between 5:20-5:40 today. While JT rested. Called D in for dinner around 6pm, he threw a fit, but came inside. He and JT ate very well at dinner (salmon and broccoli) Went up to get redy for bed rather well, too.
Dinner dishes are done!
Noon
Made granola all morning--fun; ishvara pranidhana Kids played GREAT together the whole time. I'm still trying to get through the dishes and laundry. We have no plans to go anywhere. Just being a Mom today. Practicing Compassionate Driving should be easy!
4:30PM
Playdate again today here. Enjoyed talking, this time NOT gossiping! was great. We talked more about the community, the schools (budgets, needs). Ate apples, nuts, granola, drank tea. Kids played well. I do feel good about getting the dishes done and cleaning up the kitchen area before they arrived.
Drove to the store. A little too fast on the way there. But made a conscious effort to practice compassionate deriving on way home. JT tired, in front of TV now. D outside playing hard.
9:15PM
Did asana between 5:20-5:40 today. While JT rested. Called D in for dinner around 6pm, he threw a fit, but came inside. He and JT ate very well at dinner (salmon and broccoli) Went up to get redy for bed rather well, too.
Dinner dishes are done!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
21 Day - Day 8
9:45AM
Frustrating morning. Stepped in dog poo. Forgot sons shoes. Saw an accident, two actually. Seems to be a crazy day. Moon must be....yep. Almost full. I did not practice compassionate driving well today.
11:00PM
Reflecting on the day. I have had a difficult time keeping up with my goals today. My MIL backed into our garage. I did not feel right at yoga. Discussed the full moon activity with some who said joints and ligaments are not what you want at full moon. I think it is the body's fluids are off balance.
Frustrating morning. Stepped in dog poo. Forgot sons shoes. Saw an accident, two actually. Seems to be a crazy day. Moon must be....yep. Almost full. I did not practice compassionate driving well today.
11:00PM
Reflecting on the day. I have had a difficult time keeping up with my goals today. My MIL backed into our garage. I did not feel right at yoga. Discussed the full moon activity with some who said joints and ligaments are not what you want at full moon. I think it is the body's fluids are off balance.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
21 Day - Day 7
6:45AM
Still re-living the Girl Scout yoga last night. I feel a little sore, but ready to start the day.
I resolve to not use the computer until after lunchtime. (Broke that promise by 8AM)
11:30AM
Just finished Seniors class. Two women. small group, but getting my feet wet. I made it rather vigorous in the beginning, ending low and restful. So far, doing well with the yamas and niyamas.
6:00PM
We are at Soccer. I spent time with both boys outside today. My MIL watched them while I taught. We talked about our husbands afterward. And how things are frustrating with them. I complained about how Erik treated me last night when I taught yoga: "You have to put you life on hold for 6 years." WTF?? I was upset, but I kept my toungue still. No use arguing wiht his irrationality. My anger was contained and I let him espouse. Someday he may figure out what time wiht his boys is valuable. They are growing up quickly. They won't wait for him.
Still re-living the Girl Scout yoga last night. I feel a little sore, but ready to start the day.
I resolve to not use the computer until after lunchtime. (Broke that promise by 8AM)
11:30AM
Just finished Seniors class. Two women. small group, but getting my feet wet. I made it rather vigorous in the beginning, ending low and restful. So far, doing well with the yamas and niyamas.
6:00PM
We are at Soccer. I spent time with both boys outside today. My MIL watched them while I taught. We talked about our husbands afterward. And how things are frustrating with them. I complained about how Erik treated me last night when I taught yoga: "You have to put you life on hold for 6 years." WTF?? I was upset, but I kept my toungue still. No use arguing wiht his irrationality. My anger was contained and I let him espouse. Someday he may figure out what time wiht his boys is valuable. They are growing up quickly. They won't wait for him.
Monday, April 6, 2009
21 Day - Day 6
10:00AM
Getting D to school was a challenge so I was frustrated again with him, mimicking him. My point was that his behavior was annoying. Not appropriate adult behavior, and JT let me know it!He came up to me and said that D did not sound like that and I gave him a hug for defending his brother. I said that they were right and we all got along better.
Parent teacher conference this morning everything I expected.
2:30 PM
We took a walk today after school. I parked low. JT did well keeping up. The boys have been very loving today. I think I did a better job driving compassionately. I do not recall a negative thought.
5:00PM
Today, kids and I played a game. We hid objects in a bag and the other person had to guess by feeling it. We had a great time with that!
10:00PM
Taught a class to Girl Scouts this evening. Ages 10-13...maybe? I had some chatty girls, some flexible girls, I some with esteem issues. Class may have been too challenging for a couple, but most enjoyed the challenge or getting their bodies to do things they had not done before. One girl really tried everything and seemed to pick up the "contortions" well. Another had a hard time with backbend and other things...but beamed widely when she got into handstand. I got them all to OM with me!
Getting D to school was a challenge so I was frustrated again with him, mimicking him. My point was that his behavior was annoying. Not appropriate adult behavior, and JT let me know it!He came up to me and said that D did not sound like that and I gave him a hug for defending his brother. I said that they were right and we all got along better.
Parent teacher conference this morning everything I expected.
2:30 PM
We took a walk today after school. I parked low. JT did well keeping up. The boys have been very loving today. I think I did a better job driving compassionately. I do not recall a negative thought.
5:00PM
Today, kids and I played a game. We hid objects in a bag and the other person had to guess by feeling it. We had a great time with that!
10:00PM
Taught a class to Girl Scouts this evening. Ages 10-13...maybe? I had some chatty girls, some flexible girls, I some with esteem issues. Class may have been too challenging for a couple, but most enjoyed the challenge or getting their bodies to do things they had not done before. One girl really tried everything and seemed to pick up the "contortions" well. Another had a hard time with backbend and other things...but beamed widely when she got into handstand. I got them all to OM with me!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
21 Day - Day 5
8:30AM
I have been thinking about my brother's girlfriend and her situation. I wish I had a better way to communicate with her. She complains often, and acts upset all of the time, at everything. Being around her, she makes me feel sorry for her, but then later I feel as though she needs to do more with herself to change her "unhappiness". She rarely acknowledges with someone has done something nice for her. This is an instance where I think about the satya 'rule of thumb' I posted. Before speaking, check:
Is it true?
Is it necessary?
Is it kind?
What I feel is truth to me. Is it necessary to talk to her? Maybe. But maybe it is better left unsaid for the sake of harmony. Is it kind...she may not perceive it as such, although understaning the truth, and study oneself will help put them in a better position later in life. If they are willing and open to listening. I do not believe she is ready. Nor ever will be.
11:30AM
Practiced nauli. Read an email about Moon Salutations. I tried them. Would love to try these tomorrow with the Girl Scouts, but I need to stick with things I already know well. I practiced it but I'm too cold now.
I have decided to take meditation off of my goal list. It's too hard to get through most of them and I'm not ready to meditate wiht a greedy, needy family.
Quote I saw today: "Be the change you want to see in the world" Mahatma Gandhi.
8:00PM
I'm lucky if I can even get three entries in each day. I TOTALLY gossiped today, and realized that I did it on the second day of this assignment! It is not even nice gossip. It's the I-really-don't-know-if-it's-true-but-I-heard-from-a-friend kind. Horrible! Worthless. And I remembered that my husband and I were making fun of someone indirectly, just for laughs. It was a personal joke, but the kind that I don't need sitting out there and accidentally coming back up to hurt someone.
so far in this assignment I have found that I am 1) harboring and feeding negative feelings toward someone and 2) I need to practice Compassionate Driving. Maybe I will make it a new goal. As for that certain someone, I need to continue to think nicely about them and refrain fron further horrid speech.
practiced kapalabhati
11:30PM
Neti! trying to get 4 entries in, too. Tomorrow things may be easier. We will see. Phoebe came to see me.
OK, here is a theory...Animals are actually our next incarnation! We re all trying to move toward a more simple existence. Just trying to find bliss through our big, reasoning, thinking brains. I think it's more confusion. What we should strive for is an animal existence. To find bliss, simple life. We just keep descending to a simple organism. Or a simple spark of energy! When atoms fire, do they feel bliss?
I have been thinking about my brother's girlfriend and her situation. I wish I had a better way to communicate with her. She complains often, and acts upset all of the time, at everything. Being around her, she makes me feel sorry for her, but then later I feel as though she needs to do more with herself to change her "unhappiness". She rarely acknowledges with someone has done something nice for her. This is an instance where I think about the satya 'rule of thumb' I posted. Before speaking, check:
Is it true?
Is it necessary?
Is it kind?
What I feel is truth to me. Is it necessary to talk to her? Maybe. But maybe it is better left unsaid for the sake of harmony. Is it kind...she may not perceive it as such, although understaning the truth, and study oneself will help put them in a better position later in life. If they are willing and open to listening. I do not believe she is ready. Nor ever will be.
11:30AM
Practiced nauli. Read an email about Moon Salutations. I tried them. Would love to try these tomorrow with the Girl Scouts, but I need to stick with things I already know well. I practiced it but I'm too cold now.
I have decided to take meditation off of my goal list. It's too hard to get through most of them and I'm not ready to meditate wiht a greedy, needy family.
Quote I saw today: "Be the change you want to see in the world" Mahatma Gandhi.
8:00PM
I'm lucky if I can even get three entries in each day. I TOTALLY gossiped today, and realized that I did it on the second day of this assignment! It is not even nice gossip. It's the I-really-don't-know-if-it's-true-but-I-heard-from-a-friend kind. Horrible! Worthless. And I remembered that my husband and I were making fun of someone indirectly, just for laughs. It was a personal joke, but the kind that I don't need sitting out there and accidentally coming back up to hurt someone.
so far in this assignment I have found that I am 1) harboring and feeding negative feelings toward someone and 2) I need to practice Compassionate Driving. Maybe I will make it a new goal. As for that certain someone, I need to continue to think nicely about them and refrain fron further horrid speech.
practiced kapalabhati
11:30PM
Neti! trying to get 4 entries in, too. Tomorrow things may be easier. We will see. Phoebe came to see me.
OK, here is a theory...Animals are actually our next incarnation! We re all trying to move toward a more simple existence. Just trying to find bliss through our big, reasoning, thinking brains. I think it's more confusion. What we should strive for is an animal existence. To find bliss, simple life. We just keep descending to a simple organism. Or a simple spark of energy! When atoms fire, do they feel bliss?
Saturday, April 4, 2009
21 Day - Day 4
9:45AM
Another loooong night. Spent at my brother's house. Hot room, cold air blowing, but kids awake every few hours. How I am getting home tonight in a 3 hour car drive--I do not know.
I washed dishes this morning for my brother's girlfriend while my younger son and nephew played together. I cherish mornings. I like to get up early and be with the kids, even at home. But when I travel or have family around, early morning is a quiet time for reflection and enjoyment of my family. More Ishvara Pranidana. And I got my nauli in.
I did steal someones wireless internet to get on the internet. Hey, if they don't lock it up, it's a gift!
5:45PM
HOME! Driving makes me crazy! I had massive negative thoughts about a guy that cut me off and I left my high-beams on him for 2 miles. I had considered that long distance driving was a bit meditative, but it is also very frustrating! I have no idea how to make up for my angry thoughts when I drive.
9:30PM
I had a brief conversation with my mother about my visit to my brother's house. We talked about their situation and I had a bit of frustration over somethings I am emotionally attached to, but have no ability to change. I have hope for them as a couple, but they need to communicate more, and share the burden of everything they go through. Neti and pranayama.
Another loooong night. Spent at my brother's house. Hot room, cold air blowing, but kids awake every few hours. How I am getting home tonight in a 3 hour car drive--I do not know.
I washed dishes this morning for my brother's girlfriend while my younger son and nephew played together. I cherish mornings. I like to get up early and be with the kids, even at home. But when I travel or have family around, early morning is a quiet time for reflection and enjoyment of my family. More Ishvara Pranidana. And I got my nauli in.
I did steal someones wireless internet to get on the internet. Hey, if they don't lock it up, it's a gift!
5:45PM
HOME! Driving makes me crazy! I had massive negative thoughts about a guy that cut me off and I left my high-beams on him for 2 miles. I had considered that long distance driving was a bit meditative, but it is also very frustrating! I have no idea how to make up for my angry thoughts when I drive.
9:30PM
I had a brief conversation with my mother about my visit to my brother's house. We talked about their situation and I had a bit of frustration over somethings I am emotionally attached to, but have no ability to change. I have hope for them as a couple, but they need to communicate more, and share the burden of everything they go through. Neti and pranayama.
Friday, April 3, 2009
21 Day - Day 3
9:30AM
My son is still not sleeping well. Up every 2 hours last night. So, I was grumpy. My husband asked at one point inthe night if I was going to bring our son in our room to sleep with us. I snapped, "Fuck, no!" I really did not need to choose those exact words. I let my emotions take over, and my lack of sleep. and frustration.
Nauli this morning. Pranayama (three-lobed viloma).
7:00PM
Spent the day traveling to my brother's house. I ate way too much at dinner to compensate for the lack of food while driving. I did practice chanting int he car. Is difficult to keep my goals going with two kids who do not help. I did neti before we left house.
Tonight, I am referee. Boys are fighting over cousin's toys. they are tired, too. And a little sick. I spent time with all of them, though. And my nephew who seems to really enjoy me. That was a point of bliss today. My ishvara pranidana.
My son is still not sleeping well. Up every 2 hours last night. So, I was grumpy. My husband asked at one point inthe night if I was going to bring our son in our room to sleep with us. I snapped, "Fuck, no!" I really did not need to choose those exact words. I let my emotions take over, and my lack of sleep. and frustration.
Nauli this morning. Pranayama (three-lobed viloma).
7:00PM
Spent the day traveling to my brother's house. I ate way too much at dinner to compensate for the lack of food while driving. I did practice chanting int he car. Is difficult to keep my goals going with two kids who do not help. I did neti before we left house.
Tonight, I am referee. Boys are fighting over cousin's toys. they are tired, too. And a little sick. I spent time with all of them, though. And my nephew who seems to really enjoy me. That was a point of bliss today. My ishvara pranidana.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
21 Day - Day 2
7:30AM
I did not get up on time today. Had to late because kids are sick, crying. I was impatient with my older son's crying. Partially because I messed up my own schedule getting up late.I need to reassure him when he gets up that it is OK to be cranky sometimes. I did do nauli.
1:00PM
Checking in. Not sure if I'll make all of my goals today. Missed pranayama this AM.
6:00PM
Still no time, behind all day. Had playdate this afternoon so got my kid time in. I tried to do pranayama again, did not happen.
10:30PM
Son woke up crying, can't breathe through nose. He would not stop crying I got fed up and said to him "please just shut up". I can't let my frustration that I can not help him get the better of me. He needs compassion, but I don't know what to do to get him to stop crying.
11:30PM
Neti done. Chanted Maha Gaiyatri Mantra. Nadi Shodana pranayama done.
I did not get up on time today. Had to late because kids are sick, crying. I was impatient with my older son's crying. Partially because I messed up my own schedule getting up late.I need to reassure him when he gets up that it is OK to be cranky sometimes. I did do nauli.
1:00PM
Checking in. Not sure if I'll make all of my goals today. Missed pranayama this AM.
6:00PM
Still no time, behind all day. Had playdate this afternoon so got my kid time in. I tried to do pranayama again, did not happen.
10:30PM
Son woke up crying, can't breathe through nose. He would not stop crying I got fed up and said to him "please just shut up". I can't let my frustration that I can not help him get the better of me. He needs compassion, but I don't know what to do to get him to stop crying.
11:30PM
Neti done. Chanted Maha Gaiyatri Mantra. Nadi Shodana pranayama done.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
21 Day - Day 1
9:30AM
Practiced Nauli and nadi shodana pranayama first thing this morning.
Old HS friend called this morning. Her son (my Godson) was accepted to SMC and UVM with great FA packages. She told me that I was a source of inspiration to her to guide her son through school to college. I felt very good about this, a little embarrassed, modest about my own achievements. But, happy that I provided an indirect "positive role model" all the same.
I did not see a police officer in a crosswalk today. I was distracted by pointing out the cars to my son. She was not in the cross walk, but on the side, waiting to cross. I need to be more aware.
11:30PM
I coveted my son's playgroup snack because I was "too busy" to pack one for myself. To steer my mind away from it, I practiced 3-lobed viloma pranayama.
I was irritated at a man for walking so slow and in my way at Costco. I was running late, but I knew it was not his fault. I just let my anger fill my thoughts.
I yelled out loud in the car, at a car in front of me for not paying attention to the signal. I immediately felt terrible because my youngest son was int eh car, and I try not to expel in from of them.
A few minutes later I slowed to let a man cross the street at the roundabout in Winooski.
4:20PM
Just spent over one hour playing with the kids. No phone, no TV, no computer.
7:25PM
On my way to yoga practice tonight I dwelled on a thought. A car had sped through our neighborhood earlier. I was angry at them, not even sure who it was. I had "daydreams" of what I would do if they had hit one of our kids. I should be blessed that my kids were not outside, but I still felt like the person needed to be scolded for excessive speeds.
Just finished asana. Very deep, I was very heavy in savasana. Also practiced meditation and chanting in class.
10:20PM
I am being accused of harboring a grudge. Someone has verbally "abused" me. And someone else is telling me to just look past it. The actual words said do not bother me. It is the manner in which they are said, and the fact that the abuser has no remorse. I am reminded of the Buddhist saying, "Treat those who are evil with disregard." I do not think this person is evil, but her actions certainly are not staying with the divine. I do not consider myself harboring a grudge, but merely treating her with disregard. Time to go do neti.
Practiced Nauli and nadi shodana pranayama first thing this morning.
Old HS friend called this morning. Her son (my Godson) was accepted to SMC and UVM with great FA packages. She told me that I was a source of inspiration to her to guide her son through school to college. I felt very good about this, a little embarrassed, modest about my own achievements. But, happy that I provided an indirect "positive role model" all the same.
I did not see a police officer in a crosswalk today. I was distracted by pointing out the cars to my son. She was not in the cross walk, but on the side, waiting to cross. I need to be more aware.
11:30PM
I coveted my son's playgroup snack because I was "too busy" to pack one for myself. To steer my mind away from it, I practiced 3-lobed viloma pranayama.
I was irritated at a man for walking so slow and in my way at Costco. I was running late, but I knew it was not his fault. I just let my anger fill my thoughts.
I yelled out loud in the car, at a car in front of me for not paying attention to the signal. I immediately felt terrible because my youngest son was int eh car, and I try not to expel in from of them.
A few minutes later I slowed to let a man cross the street at the roundabout in Winooski.
4:20PM
Just spent over one hour playing with the kids. No phone, no TV, no computer.
7:25PM
On my way to yoga practice tonight I dwelled on a thought. A car had sped through our neighborhood earlier. I was angry at them, not even sure who it was. I had "daydreams" of what I would do if they had hit one of our kids. I should be blessed that my kids were not outside, but I still felt like the person needed to be scolded for excessive speeds.
Just finished asana. Very deep, I was very heavy in savasana. Also practiced meditation and chanting in class.
10:20PM
I am being accused of harboring a grudge. Someone has verbally "abused" me. And someone else is telling me to just look past it. The actual words said do not bother me. It is the manner in which they are said, and the fact that the abuser has no remorse. I am reminded of the Buddhist saying, "Treat those who are evil with disregard." I do not think this person is evil, but her actions certainly are not staying with the divine. I do not consider myself harboring a grudge, but merely treating her with disregard. Time to go do neti.
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