Was the Moon "Just Right"?

I joined the "Yoga Lovers" team on Sparkpeople a few months ago and I took part in the April Yoga Challenge. I'm not sure where "competitive drive" falls in avidya, but I'm sure it's a branch of it somewhere. I'm doing it in good spirit and to help encourage me and others to practice more often. To be par with this month's challenge, I had to had to practice yoga twice today. I did some this morning after exercise, then this evening I attended Kathy's Ashtanga class.

The Ashtanga class felt REALLY GOOD. Maybe it was the early morning warm up? Maybe it was the tone of Kathy's class and the centered energy of the yoga practitioners in there? Maybe it was the fact that the moon is just right? I felt right on and my practice flowed smoothly, except for when I had no clue which pose was next. But even this I worked through my feelings of discomfort and dissatisfaction with my lack of knowledge. Reminding myself that I'm just beginning and no one was criticizing me, I dissolved the negative energy and refocused. I would just hold a pose until Kathy's signal, or someone else reminded me which pose was next.

Oh! The handstand was great! Not perfect at all. I don't think I held it for more than two breaths. But I felt my feet WANT to go up. And it was one breath more than I did before. As unsteady as it was, it made me smile that it was going so well.

Deeper Groove

I am finding it easier and easier to practice a short yoga session on most days. The mental blocks are starting to move. Especially, if I get up early in the morning before the kids stir. Once I start, I don't really think about time until I get to the end. I'll look at the clock and realize that I had been doing yoga for 30-40 minutes. The downside is that the house is cold and my muscles even more so. I look forward to going to a nice, warm studio tonight.

Change in Perception

Why do I want to teach yoga? This is a question I will ask myself time and again. My desire to teach yoga is to be better at yoga myself. Desikachar points out that is an expression of avidya--my ego. So, am I letting avidya guide my desire to teach? This would mean that anyone who improve their life is letting ego guide them. But in taking the first step--stemmed in ego or not--I look forward to making other improvements with the guidance of yoga such as improving my health by practicing physical yoga and being mindful and aware of how my changes improve my relationship with the world.

One action I will take is to stop comparing myself to others. I am me. If I think that someone is better at something, it will not improve my relationship with myself. If I find myself comparing, I will stop and reflect on what is the root of my dissatisfaction and seek to clear it. And same if I find myself thinking that I am better. Striving to improve my 'self' is commendable, but thinking I am better than someone else with an entirely different relationship to the world is purely egotistical.

More from the Heart

I have finally read past the Introduction to The Heart of Yoga and into the first few chapters (and the book is due back to the library on Tuesday!)

Honestly, I'm a little overwhelmed. I understand the messages, but I see that there is so much more to it. Obviously, the author could write whole books on the Meaning of Yoga, or the Concept and Aspects of Avidya. I have been trying to find a concise meaning of Yoga for a while and imagine my smile as the author promised to share some thought on the meaning of Yoga. But there is no one meaning. I feel like I'm trying to hold water with my fingers. What I know is that yoga guides us. It's like a backbone off of which we can project our actions, thoughts, perceptions, etc.

Yoga can be adapted to anyone's life and anyone can use yoga however they wish to do so. I think this is the concept that I'm am most happy about realizing. No one can tell me my yoga is wrong, even if I do not know now what is my yoga. As I continue to study yoga, practice yoga and live yoga, a clearer definition will come to me. And, more likely, I'll look back on my life and be able to say what yoga was for me. But as life is ever-changing, how yoga changes my life will never be solid, either.

Finding a groove, and grooving

I was not sure if I was going to find any time to practice this weekend. My husband had to cover at work and sunny skies were keeping my kids outside and I'm not at the point yet where I would be comfortable doing yoga outside in front of my neighbors' kids. ("Mommy, why is Mrs. P standing on her head? She's breathing funny--did she pass out?") But I caught a break! My darling hubby came home early and agree to watch the kids outside for me. Yay!

I have set up a little spot in my bedroom and have some nice yoga CDs to listen to. I find that the music helps when I'm not in a studio. In studio, I draw energy from everyone around me. We are all there for the same purpose. When I'm alone, and it's quiet, I find that I'm not able to focus on the yoga asanas or my breath, and I notice things around the house that I could be fixing or cleaning...

The music helps block out the mess. Hearing the sitar or an Indian man chanting closes my mind to everything else and I "feel" like I am ready to practice. And the next thing I know I have been practicing for 30 minutes and feel rejuvenated!

Force of the Moon

For years I have been aware that a Full Moon seems to bring out the wild side of people. As a teen, I worked in a bar/lounge and I remember the staff always being on their toes to the actions of patrons on weekends with a Full Moon. I never took scientific basis in it; it was just the nature of things.

It intrigued me further to read that many yoga practitioners do not practice on the days of a Full or New Moon. The Ashtanga Yoga Center has a page on its Web site that gave more insight to why is this. According to the information, Full Moon days correspond to the force of prana, creating an expanding, upward energy that makes us feel energetic and emotional, but not well-grounded. Hence the crazy drunkards. The force of apana--that which makes us feel calm and grounded, but dense and disinclined toward physical exertion--occurs during the New Moon. The next New Moon is the day I go on vacation--how appropriate!

I'm going to make a point on Full and New Moon days of being more sensitive and cognizant to differences in energy around me and how I feel.

Pads and bandahs

I went to studio to practice tonight. I love the energy from practicing with others. I love the warmth. And I love learning and taking home bits of information to think about. Instructor was Scott; I'm used to his smaller, quiet Ashtanga classes during the day. This was the first large class I've seen him lead (filling in for Kathy) and he was more "instructive" which I certainly needed.

He made a point to remind us of our pads this evening. When we are grounding into the palms or soles, remember to really press into all of the pads and points on our hands and feet. Every finger has three pads and each one needs to be energized and pressed into the ground. And when our feet are supporting, press into the four "corners" of our feet.

I thought about this as I moved through the Surya Namiskars. Especially in Downward Dog (Adho Mukha Svanasana) and in the Warrior poses (Virabhadrasana). In Virabhadrasana, I found that when my left foot was my back foot (turned at an angle) it certainly was not grounded, even as I focussed to press back. On the right, it was good, and felt good. It just did not feel good on the left.

Another focus point for me this evening was pulling in mula bandah and keeping it locked. It kept releasing, but when pulled in, my poses strengthened. I "know", I just need to "do". I have not really focussed on mula since pre-natal yoga 19 months ago. It was very strong then, even at at 9 months pregnant! Time to get that strength back.

It takes 75 mins to accomplish 30

It was early enough to get a brief yoga session in before the kids woke up--so I thought. At 7AM my mat is laid out, the manual is open to a 30-min short form. I stand in Samasthiti...grounding....centering...breathing....raise my palms and--"WAAH!!" What? He is awake. My 18 month old, and he's not going back to sleep.

He's happy, as always, to see me. I bring him down and he sees the mat. Very intrigued, he knows I'm going to be doing something with it. I give him a few minutes to satisfy his curiosity, then he's locked in his toddler seat at the table, eating. I begin again.

Surya Namaskara A three times, Surya Namaskara B once..."Crash!" Sippy cup on the floor and he is insistent to have it back. Resolved. Back to Surya Namaskara B once...twice. "Crash--skittle" Cereal on the floor. No matter, I finish the second salute and clean him up and he's off for his toys.

I am able to get through most of the standing sequence forms and jump awkwardly through to Dandasana when my curious little monkey is back. A smile to him with my chin dropped must have looked frightening to him. He comes over to sit next to me and give me a hug. We babble together as I move to the next seated poses without Vinyasa as I know my time is limited.

I get up a few more times to peel an apple, change a poopie diaper and retrieve toys and this is how 30 mintues turns into 75. Around 8:20 I lay in Savasana which lasts 5 seconds because he is concerned that something is wrong with Mommy laying on the ground, trying not to move.

This is my new Yoga style. When I come up with something more creative than 'Cheerio Yoga' I'll publish a book on how today's SAHM moms can do yoga with a toddler. HA!

Intro to the Heart of Yoga

I have been trying to read The Heart of Yoga, by T.K. V. Desikachar. He is Krishnamacharya's son. I have borrowed it from the library for three weeks but, as time it limited, it has taken me three times to just finish the Introduction! The book is now high in priority on my wish list to purchase. It is something I want to have in my library.

Are you practicing?

I have had trouble practicing yoga this week. Time is limited, help is more so. I took an opportunity yesterday to finally take a look through David Swenson's Ashtanga Practice manual. It is where I got the header for my blog.

What I liked most about the book besides the fact I can finally spell (yet to pronounce correctly) the names of poses and it shows me the recipe for a full practice session of Ashtanga yoga....
- Love the short forms!! It answers the question "Are you practicing?". I said to myself, "If you can't find the 15 minutes to do a short form--well, what the heck are you waiting for?" :)
- I like how he reminds us constantly that we are all at different levels. There are adaptations for anyone from beginner on...it makes me feel welcomed to yoga. And makes my decision to pursue teaching it even more defined.

A day's plans postponed

I had wonderful plans today to study my yoga. I wanted to practice a little bit, read a little bit. And do it quietly, on my own. I even lined my mother-in-law to watch the boys. Peacefulness to myself.

Interrupted. My husband has decided to sell our VW Golf and get a bigger car. I had to go test drive the CRV and the Vue. No time to study yoga!

This was in my thoughts, the fact that I try to set aside time for myself, and it is "stolen" from me. When am I going to be able to study yoga? When do I have time to ruminate, to journal, to just...think??

Being a SAHM means having NO time to yourself. I have to beg my husband for time, or my mother-in-law, or a neighbor. The time that I do have are pieces of moments, trying to accomplish something I want to do with distractions. I do not get to walk away from a desk and say "My work is done." It is the same thing all the time. My children are my blessing, and my monkey. I wanted it that way.

But from now on, my days must be MY days.

Krishnamacharya's Legacy

Today, I read an article on Yoga Journal about Tirumalai Krishnamacharya, the man who "modernized" yoga and helped bring it to world outside of India--without ever leaving! It was a great background on the history of yoga.

Something I found particularly interesting was that although Krishnamacharya grew up in a patriarchal society, he believed that yoga should be practiced and studied by women, also. The author indicated that this was a position he took later in his life as it took Indra Devi some persistence to change Krishnamacharya's mind to take her on as a student. Indra eventually taught yoga to many high-profile people in the west.

Yamas/Niyamas

Today I began my formal training to teach yoga. I participated in one of the Saturday sessions that delve into the eight limbs of yoga. The topic was Yama and Niyama, the "morale codes" for living your life according to the yoga sutras.

Yamas: ahimsa (non-harming), satya (truthfulness), asteya (non-stealing), bramacharya (chastity), aparigraha (non-greediness).

Niyamas: saucha (purity), santosha (contentment), tapas (ascetic practice), svadhyaya (study), Ishvara pranidhana (devotion to God/The Divine).

We spent time drawing a chart of the yamas/niyamas and how they correspond to the koshas, and another chart of the yama/niyamas corresponding to the chakras.

Many aspects of yama and niyama are things I comprehend, but have a difficult time describing how they apply to my life. As I start to think about my actions and thoughts and applying yama/niyama to daily activities, I am sure I will understand more. It is a proof point on how yoga is a "way of life" not just a philosophy, prescription or hobby. During this session, Kathy demonstrated how yoga is adaptable. Pictures of postures of yogis like Swenson are guidelines, but you can change things to make yoga work for you. Very appealing!